Proverbs 27:7
He who is full loathes honey, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.

This is one of the most difficult things to experience as you walk with others on the Jesus journey. Some people just aren't hungry; or they still believe other things can keep them full. Jesus is just another side-dish in their grand buffet.

However, when you meet someone who is hungry...

I love how Jesus helped people to realize what they hungered for.

The things you can do when you live in Surf City. Check out our new sandwich board signs!! You rock Dan.

Pastors are caught within a wonderful dynamic: On the one hand I need to be an example of what it means to be successful follower of Christ; on the other hand I am not, & never will be totally successful. What makes this more interesting is the neverending appeal of religion; Those who do good are--gooder & I am the gooderest of them all. Right? However, I'm not good.

What is the role of a pastor? To create the "That's it" image? I need to teach Saints & non-saints how to be: Broken, angry, forgive, sexually appropriate, depressed, frustrated, etc. However, do I teach them from the position of: "When I used to..." or "Last week when I..." Don't I have a pious image to uphold, since no one wants to follow a loser? Especially a pastor who wrestles with sin. No doubt there are limits to my involvement with any sin & it's ability to control me vs. my ability to yield to the Spirit. However, we can so easily create a theology of leadership, which says, "Follow me as I follow Christ" because, "I've arrived," vs. "I've been working on this for years, & I'm still walking."

Yesterday at a meeting of pastors I sat & listened for some time as one of our brothers spoke about the pressure of leadership. One of the things I kept hearing was his inability to share his failings. More importantly, share his feelings with this group of pastors who meet monthly & have traveled many miles together. Why?

Aren't the broken blessed? The poor in Spirit happy? The hungry full? We've replaced servant leadership with CEO leadership. We've replaced transparent friendship with church. We've replaced dependence with independence & call it discretion & then wonder why the volcano erupted; we had no warning. You always seemed like you were doing so well; we thought you had everything together; You created an image we all wanted. Sadly you created an image & not reality. You created an image God has never desired.

We create churches where people can't share the very things that would bring them freedom. Why? Because if they did they would be disqualified. From what? Being like the pastor? One of the greatest theological problems people have today about church is this: Church isn't for bad people it's for good people!?!? Go ask 20 people: "Is church filled with good or bad people." Why do they believe this? When's the last time you went to church & saw real people dealing with real stuff? Who starts this crap? I do.

Yesterday I asked a simple question: "After listening to you discuss all of this (transparency) I'm confused as to the reputation I'm trying to uphold & to whom?"

I understand Christians want to follow a leader with the gooderest reputation; however, many of those same Christians aren't cutting the cake. At least not in the Bay Area. Who do I want to relate to/attract: Christians or "He wrestles?"

Jesus didn't come to make bad people good into good people. I am redeemed. I am a saint. I wrestle with sin. I am a great example; of someone who follows Jesus. The scars on my knees prove I have fallen several times. My new shoes prove I want to walk some more. I don't have it all together; I am however walking & have walked for some time now & people can relate to that--at least broken people can.

24-HOUR PRAYER SIGN-UPS

Psalms 2:8 “Ask of me, and I will make the nations your heritage, and the ends of the earth your possession.”

6pm on Friday starts our 24-hour prayer. We want to be a praying church, so each month we pray for 24hrs as a community. It's a great time to learn how to pray & hear his voice. Here are the times:
FRIDAY Sept 4th
6pm – 7pm Sarah
7pm – 8pm Corinna
8pm – 9pm Yizenia & Stephen
9pm – 10pm Jacob & Grace
10pm – 11pm Taylor
11pm – 12midnight Karol
SATURDAY Sept 5th
12am – 1am Jayson
1am – 2am Nate
2am – 3am Rachel
3am – 4am Rachel
4am – 5am Laben
5am – 6am Laben
6am – 7am Alana
7am – 8am Jeff
8am – 9am Jeff
9am – 10am Hae Jong
10am – 11am Julee
11am – 12noon Emelia
12pm – 1pm Sarah
1pm – 2pm Daniel
2pm – 3pm Sean
3pm – 4pm Linda
4pm – 5pm Janine
5pm – 6pm Janine

Wow.

So we are starting to have family devotions several times a week. As you may have guessed it can be pretty comical. We read a scripture from Colossians today & the devotional we use had many questions to go along with it. However, one thing became evident as we started asking the questions. It seems as if every question we ask our children the answer is always Jesus. Now theologically this is kinda' true 'cuz he is pretty Alpha & Omega status in the cosmos. Too, it's funny to see Jonathan read his small Gideon bible out loud (he can't read), while he holds it upside down. Yet, the words are pretty contextual: "God thank you, Jesus, Heaven, thank you, Jesus goes there, thank you..."

"I got invited."

These are three wonderful words from our Sunday gathering. After worship I always ask, "Somebody share a God story." I ask this because God is always working in our lives, however, we often don't recognize God working in our lives because many of us don't ask: "Is this God?"

This last Sunday when I asked, "Somebody share a God story," a friend of a friend raised his hand & said, "I got invited to this today." When he said this I was somewhat stunned & I almost cried. I wasn't stunned because he got invited; I was stunned because I too easily forget to be thankful that I am invited. I forget that eleven years ago, when I was at a horrible place, God invited me. Since that time he has continued to invite me; in spite of the fact that I have taken up the attitude I am someone worth inviting! What this friend said was an: Out of the mouth of babes moment. He was just thankful to be invited. I'm tired of inviting. He's thankful to be a part. I'm tired of being here. He's thankful he got invited. I put my invitation away & forgot about it.

After he said this I laughed one of those laughs you make when your shocked or embarrassed. But God quickly filled my heart & reminded me of something. I then said to those gathered last Sunday: "We all got invited didn't we."

It's when we move into the realm of entitlement that we become disillusioned with who we are in Christ. We forget where we came from & then start to become ungrateful for who He is & who we are. We are not entitled to anything especially a place at the Wedding Feast; we forget that we WERE invited when we shouldn't have been. We forget we ARE invited even though we shouldn't be. When we start to feel pinched isn't because we feel entitled to something that we have no right to in the first place?

If we could remain in a posture of: "I got invited," I am certain we would enjoy God more & enjoy what He has for us.

Our God is the God of manna, not Urbana.

Here's what I mean. When the disciples asked Jesus, "Teach us how to pray..." He said amongst other things, "Give us our daily bread..." (I've really been thinking about the theological depth of the Lord's Prayer: It really is complete.) Now to a Jew daily bread would have conjured up thoughts of when God gave bread to Israel in Exodus: Manna. There, He provided daily for the physical needs of Israel; it may not have been flashy, terribly tasty, or what they wanted day in & day out, but He provided what they needed. He is the God of Manna; He is the God who gives us physically & spiritually what we need; day in & day out.

Now Urbana. Urbana is an outstanding missions conference. I have no problem with Urbana & hope to go one day. It only rhymes with Manna & represents, what I believe, many expect their devotional life to be like day in & day out: Huge & revelatory beyond belief. However, we serve the God of Manna; God gives us what we need. Manna is what we need; Urbana is what we want.

When we sit with God daily in an unrushed time with him He always delivers, He always provides Manna, what we need, our Daily Bread. However, to insist on Urbana when I sit with Him is to betray who He is. He always gives me what I need & even if I don't feel it when I sit at His feet, I receive the seed of the Kingdom & within that seed is the entire Kingdom DNA; & given the correct soil, it grows & grows into...well, Urbana!

God is not a dispensary of my wants. God knows what I need & in the end what I need is really what I wanted! Amazingly He knows the deepest desires of my heart. Sadly, I often confuse wants & needs. Daily bread is what I need.

Our God is the God of Manna, not Urbana. Get your Manna on.

While in Buffalo we drove past a building that was both huge & beautiful. I asked Steve what the building was for & he said, "It's Buffalo's abandoned mental asylum." Totally freaky!! Check out this site: http://kingstonlounge.blogspot.com/2008/09/buffalo-state-hospital-h-h-richardson.html

What is freedom? Where do I find it? Everyone in one way or another is asking this question. Christ came to "set us free;" & "whom the son has set free is free indeed." However, God's definition of freedom & ours aren't the same. As we frantically try to control our lives we realize, or at least other people do, that we are out of control. What is freedom? Freedom comes from giving control of your entire being to God. What he says is right is right. What he says is wrong is wrong. His values are THE values you live your life by. As an American my definition of Freedom is: Doing what I want to do when I want to do it. This isn't God's heart or definition of freedom & only leads to confusion. Only submission to God through Christ empowered by the Holy Spirit leads to REAL freedom! Please read the Epistles with special care to the word: Slave. It is a favorite title for those who knew Christ. It's not very popular today either in title or in standing.

Bondage to Christ leads to freedom; freedom as you define it, & therefore live it, leads to bondage.

He came to set us free because we are bound. The blind cannot lead the blind. The blind cannot walk without assistance. We are blind & when you realize that you are blind he gives you sight. He came to save us because we are out of control; bound by sin & death.

Bondage to Christ leads to freedom; freedom as you define it, & therefore live it, leads to bondage.

Our trip to Buffalo was amazing. We weren't sure what to expect & didn't expect what we got. To say the least God showed up in so many ways. Janine said it best, "God showed that he Sovereign;" & he did. Eleven of us came from Santa Cruz to Buffalo & every single person had a transormational experience while in Buffalo. I've been to: Africa, Thailand, China, & India yet our trip to Buffalo was the most profitable. Why? First, our friends Steve, Tami, & Mary live & have started a church there. Although we are doing things a bit different in Santa Cruz our goal is the same: Total Devotion to the person & purposes of Jesus. So, we went to Buffalo & "did the stuff," but with our sisters, brothers, cousins, aunts, & uncles. I feel bad for Christians who aren't a part of family. As is true for our time in Santa Cruz, we experienced real friendships, community. When our two groups got together it felt like it was one group. Secondly, everyone had questions answered in powerful ways. We all have questions we're asking God. On this trip God spoke to all of us. We'll see what happens.

We brought two girls who hadn't said yes to Jesus & his offer of life. Both of those girls committed their lives to Christ on this trip, which was incredible. Steve had mentioned, "It's cool to see Danielle & Marianna loving people in the name of Jesus before they have given their lives to Him." Marianna actually gave away her Bible to another woman who had questions before she had given her life to Jesus! Actually, Marianna gave her life to Christ on a car ride to hang out with Angela (a woman we met at at BBQ) who had questions about Jesus! As I dropped Marianna off she was in tears because she had just been born again & she said, "What do I do now? I don't want to overwhelm Angela." Wow. She was so convinced of Christ's love before she said yes to him that she was reaching out to others who were curious about him! Seriously, this is just one story amongst many.

Needless to say this was a big push on the flywheel of two outstanding communities, on two different sides of the United States, doing one thing throughout the earth. Loving God, Loving People, Making Disciples.

Buffalo was more than amazing. Here's the first post.

Poison

Laben loves Jesus. Laben loves Jesus so much that he wants to go to Buffalo & tell people about Him.














Laben love Jesus so much that he did a work day to raise money for Buffalo & cut a path for his landlord: Through Poison Oak.


























Laben said he didn't get Poison Oak. Laben is a liar. This is what happens to liars named Laben who love Jesus when they work for their landlord cutting a path through Poison Oak.


















It's dangerous for liars to love Jesus.

One of my Grad teachers said, "Steal the best with pride," & I haven't hesitated to do so in many areas of my life. Here's a great example:

"Whenever we exist for ourselves, we are piling up horse manure into a pile (hold your nose!), but whenever we exist for others, we are spreading manure over the field causing things to grow; the difference between excrement and fertilizer is whether you pile it, or spread it..."

Well said; don't be excrement, be fertilizer.

Church is an interesting thing. Our church is an interesting thing. Your church is interesting. I often wrestle with the ideal & with the real. My ideal is what it all looks like when I write it on paper or picture it in my head; however, as many of you have figured out by now, ideal is not real. Not to say that we shouldn't have ideals. Having goals or pictures in your head of how you see God's plan for your community played out help you to work toward that goal; however, as many of you have figured out by now, ideal is not real. Real is real. How do I work with my real? The regional pastor for the Vineyard in our area said this, "Maturity is: The ability to deal with reality." I thought, & still think, this is great. How am I able to deal with the reality of what's really going on in order to guide myself, & others, toward the bigger goals God has for us? Here is where tension comes in. What's that next gracious step toward God's goal for me, & for us? Wrestle on.

Sucka' say what!??!?!

antiochsc.com

One step closer to a spiritual revolution.

We had a carwash today to help raise money for Buffalo. There were 12 people who gave up 4hrs to help us out today & 5 of those 12 who are discovering who Jesus is. As I was holding up one of our signs that read, "Clean Car?" I looked back & laughed as I saw the group of people devoted to raising money for a missions trip. It is the Father's heart that people would be able to belong as they are in the process of believing. Too, I am blessed to see the genuine friendships that are developing amongst people who otherwise have little to nothing in common. We aren't a clique; we are friends.

First, for both of you who follow this blog, I'm sorry I'm such a slacker!!

I guess when there's a lot going on blogging isn't a priority. However, I do read everyone's blogs to keep up to date. That said, my life is full; full of the right things for sure.

Our church is doing great. We are seeing new people plugging in & other people wrestling with discipleship unto Jesus. Janine mentioned the other day, "It's cool to see these gals wrestle with following Jesus." For us the wrestling match is a wonderful, painful, enjoyable process. The Kingdom of God isn't about you & that's a hard truth for a consumeristic American to swallow; yet at the same time, by becoming a "slave of Christ" (a favorite title amongst NT writers)that is where true self-fulfillment happens. If only our silly commercials brainwashed the masses in that direction! I'm amazed at the ability of pride & selfishness to morph & manifest into the most beautiful displays of piety & sin. Amazing. So we wrestle on; God being the goal & source of our total affection is a hill we're dead on.

We're going to Buffalo in 2 weeks, which will be amazing. We're bringing 5 new people, 2 of whom are just starting relationships with Jesus. Fun times.

I started coaching a church planter from Texas who will be planting a church in San Diego in the fall. My two questions I keep asking him: Are you spending unrushed, quality, alone time with God each day? Who have you shared the gospel with this week? Legalism for sure; I know. I keep trying to figure out how to find the American Idol of "Freedom" in the NT, but I'm having trouble finding it.

One of the things God is teaching me is: Pace. This includes getting my tank filled up by God; Rest; & organization. The last one is the hardest, but that's why someone smarter than me created the dayplanner. My personality (sin, etc) keep me fairly unorganized & help me become busy. Busy meaning internally frantic. This is a growth process for me, but it's great. Too, it's time to start running again. Carb loading on various treats isn't doing much for my spiritual or physical health!

Blessings,

Family Vacation.

In school I was very fortunate to be introduced to a man named Jean Vanier. Jean is the founder of L’Arche, a Catholic community of mentally handicapped people. In 1964 he invited two men with Down’s syndrome to leave the institution & live with him. This community has grown to over 100 residential homes throughout the world. He is a practitioner & a prophet. His words carry a great deal of authority because he is simply describing his life; he describes a lifestyle he is committed. In our culture, where we create social juveniles & as a church we are more often a group of strangers who meet once a week than a fellowship; Jean’s life is like a sunbeam shining through stormy clouds.
Here are some quotes from his book: From Brokenness to Community (Two lectures given at Harvard.)

“If they choose to follow Jesus, they receive a gift of love & communion, but at the same time they must say “no” to the ways of the world & accept loss; they must own their choice.”

“Community is a wonderful place, it is life-giving; but it is also a place of pain because it is a place of truth & of growth—the revelation of our pride, our fear, & our brokenness.”

“I have discovered that even though a person may have severe brain damage, that is not the source of his greatest pain. The greatest pain is rejection, the feeling that nobody really wants you “like that.”

“But this communion is not fusion. Fusion leads to confusion. In a relationship of communion, you are you & I am I; I have my identity & you have yours. I must be myself & you must be yourself. We are called to grow together, each one becoming more fully himself or herself.”

“That I think, was what caused me the most pain: to discover who I really am, & to realize that maybe I did not want to know who I really was! I did not want to admit all the garbage inside me. And then I had to decide whether I would just continue to pretend that I was okay & throw myself into hyperactivity, projects where I could forget all the garbage & prove to others how good I was. Elitism is the sickness of us all.”

“(Volunteers find…) God is not just present in their capacity to heal but rather in their need to be healed.”

“This healing power in us will not come from our capacities & our riches, but in & through our poverty. We are called to discover that God can bring peace, compassion & love through our wounds.”

“Community is the place where are revealed all the darkness & anger, jealousies & rivalry hidden in our hearts.”

“In struggling to ‘win’ at any price, members of the family lose a sense of community. More & more people are seeking the individual prize. In richer countries, this desire to win is instilled in children from an early age. I remember visiting a school in Canada where there was a big poster: ‘It is a crime not to excel.’”

“In community we are called to love people just as they are with their wounds & their gifts, not as we would want them to be.”

“Growth will come as we come closer to people who are different from us & as we learn to welcome & listen even to those who trigger off our pain.”

“People will come to L’Arche attracted by the community; they like our community. They like it, & it’s great—for a few days! When somebody says to me, ‘I find it very painful to live in this community, but I’m here because God has called me here,’ then I know that person has made a passage from dream to reality.”

“We must learn to celebrate.”

“TV can be a kind of death.”

“But the community only keeps its meaning if it remains open to mission.”

“Trusting people are vulnerable & can be easily crushed, as Jesus was crushed. A community which trusts in God rather than in the righteousness of its ‘cause’ can always be crushed, but from that crushing will come resurrection.”

Our men's retreat was a blast.
8 men from our church went to Henry Coe State Park & had a great time with God. Although we could have had more guys participate I intentionally chose to make the distance long enough so that whoever did go would have to commit to the whole weekend & not just a part of it. This is important for a couple of reasons. First, Saturday is the prime day, all day. Friday night was kinda' like a detox from all the business we pile on ourselves. I commented a couple of times, "Wow, it's quite;" when in fact, it's just that my life is filled with noise (by my own design!). So, to go to part of the retreat was to miss a large part of the retreat. Retreat! Too, by making it a bit too far for the "if it's convienent for me" crowd, we effectively brought those who desire to grow. I'm always amazed that many people walked away from Jesus because he qualified discipleship as something centered upon God & not the individual. Too, I'm often amazed that so many today cater to this very group of people in the church. "Let's go to the nicest retreat center possible. Therefore, the most people will go." This isn't bad, but it's not great. The cult of customer service has wreaked havoc on our culture! So, it was a short drive & there were no showers, but there was a whole lot of God!
Simple Times:

On Sat. we had two hours of solitude & silence where each man was sent of into the wilderness armed with a journal. We came back & each man had a wonderful story about how God has spoken to them: "Return to me." "I'm consistent." "Get this tattoo." "Play with me!" Laben then climbed a tree with God!! "Love your wife." This was a powerful experience.

Then we played Risk for 4hrs, which, as any one of the guys would tell you, a wonderful time with God! As I mentioned to one of the guys: "When did play stop being worship?"

One of the most powerful things God has been showing me through our church is this: We don't fit together. Without Jesus none of us would normally connect as friends. Hippies, Ph.D, Homeless, Preppy, Cuban, Gay, Pentecostal, Drunk; these are the words I would use to describe some of the folks in our community. As my wife mentioned the other day: "We aren't a Christian clique." & we aren't. Our group is diverse. As Dietrich would say: "Community is a gift, not a given."

Laben is holding the gallon of milk the raccoons stole from us. Too, Matt looks pretty happy even though we put half a cooked fish & dog food next to his bed in hopes that the raccoons would battle next to him during the night! Sadly only the Blue Jays descended upon him in the morning.