I recently opened a message from a woman I assumed I went to Highschool with. What followed was a rather interesting dialogue as I discovered I was being given a "proposal." I think we get proposals often, sometimes from simple things, & other times we get a proposal that will shipwreck who we are. I wish I always made the right choice when presented with a enticing proposal, but "very often" will have to sustain me to the finish lines as we practice the ways of Jesus in Santa Cruz.
Below is the actual dialogue between my suitor & I via Facebook:
--You look good in your profile picture, are you still single? Smile!!!!
--What's up Nancy. Thanks for the compliment. I've been married for 11 years & have 3 incredible kids. I hope you're doing well. Blessings.
--Yes, i am doing good and you?
--We're doing great. We live in Santa Cruz & are a part of a really cool faith community here following Jesus. What have you been up to?
--Nothing much just wish we could get to know each other and see how it goes, how are your kids doing as well?
--How do we know each other Nancy?
--well, maybe we can exchange email
--Hey Nancy I don't know if you caught on or not, but I'm a happily married man. Too, I have three kids. What would it have been like for your dad to accept some invitation from another woman? What would that have done to your life? Is that what you'd like to do to my family?
Maybe she's still thinking about my questions...
2 comments:
I read this on your wife's blog. It literally moved me to tears. Although I understand that you're trying to be faithful to your wife, it's also important for you to be a good witness and show compassion to others who are hurting. As a single woman myself, I can relate to the loneliness and frustration she must feel every single day. You might be pleased with yourself for putting her in her proper place, but you're obviously more concerned about distancing yourself from the world than solving its problems. I hope that the next married, male old friend she reconnects with offers her hope and maybe even a blind-date with a bachelor friend.
Thanks Jenny.
I too desire to be a good witness to those who are hurting; however, the context of the woman wasn't so innocent. She had been proposing several men, including some of my friends with her requests. As you can see from my response I never belittled her, made her feel stupid for what she was doing, but asked her pointed questions as to the conclusions of her requests. Too, she didn't come to me asking, "will you help me through my loneliness?" at which time I would have directed her to my wife. She continually propositioned me for a more-than-friendship relationship & I made it crystal clear I was married.
As you read the whole of scripture you'll see many people confronting sin in serious ways. That said, in our tolerance, acceptance of almost anything culture, confronting certain sins is touted as being "out-dated," but it isn't outdated at all. We go to great lengths to validate almost any "feeling" even if the other persons feeling are self-destructive or destructive to society. Giving propositions to a married man isn't in any way ok. Her loneliness is sad, but using her loneliness as an excuse to lead people into an adulterous affair is even sadder. How would Paul had handled this situation (1 Corinthians)? What of Jesus calling people "vipers or foxes?" Often times pointing to peoples outward sins turns them to their inward hurts where God meets them.
I never demeaned the woman; I only took her actions to there logical conclusions, which would be the dismantling of a family. Is this what she was willing to do in order to appease the hole in her heart? My comments aren't mean, they are direct & our culture has taught us that direct comments are mean; this is wrong.
Nancy, if that was her name to being with, removed herself from Facebook. I hope she was encouraged to see her actions as sin (not a bad word) & do business with Christ who is the only hope for all of our hurts.
I hope your husband would do the same to the women who WILL proposition him. There are many who are hurting & we must make appropriate stands for, & sadly, against the direction they are leading many. Asking someone, "is this what you're desiring to do?" when the conclusion is clear is a good witness.
My heart breaks for the "Nancys" in our world.
Blessings,
Sean
Post a Comment